The Millennium Rumble
by Azure Zangetsu
Summary: Simple Oneshot between Captain Hans Gunsche and First Lieutenant Rip Van Winkle. Heavy Lemon within. Hans X Rip Please Review.


Rip Van Winkle sat on top of the Millennium Headquarters in South America with a bored look on her face. Good lord, it was such a dull place around here, especially since _he_ wasn't around at the moment. She shifted her rifle to her left shoulder and pulled the trigger. A magic musket ball sailed through the air a lightning speed and plunged itself into a bird flying overhead. The defenseless creature exploded into feathers and blood.

The vampire sighed with a dissatisfied tone. Yes, Rip was very bored. Not even live target practice was fun anymore because these stupid animals were so small and none of them put up any fight at all. She wished _he_ were back already so that she could practice on him for a bit of excitement. Not only was Rip bored, she was hungry too. Damn, she needed some tasty blood about now, preferably out of something that had just been killed. _He_ could see to that in a hurry, considering that he was out doing that at the moment.

Maybe that was why she enjoyed being around him? He drew blood quite often when he fought anything, or was even annoyed. But he was also fiercely loyal and dependable. If he was around, he would do anything someone asked, so long as it was within reason. She liked him a lot, and she wanted him to come back soon. If anyone could solve her boredom problem, then it would most definitely be him. Rip loaded her musket again and looked out over the massive rainforest surrounding the Millennium Headquarters.

"Ver are you?" she murmured as a massive multitude of birds squawked and flew out of the forest canopy in a hurry. She smirked as he rifle almost instinctively moved to aim at the creature loping towards the base. She crossed her legs and placed the barrel of her long rifle between her boots. She blew a curl of hair out of her face and closed one eye. She pulled the trigger and the magic musket fired with a loud _crack_. Her shot hit its mark, and as expected, the massive creature continued towards the base like it always did, silent and still loping.

This was what she had come to know him for, silence and a calm aura almost. Never once had she seen him worried or fearful, or with any emotion for that matter. Never once had she seen him let an enemy go either. She had been told that he had initiated the Malmedy Massacre in order to save his comrades in the Battle of the Bulge, although she didn't see how it could save his comrades. Pushing those thoughts out of her mind, she quickly reloaded and fired another musket ball at him. This time however, the massive creature dodged left and began to run at the base.

Rip arched an eyebrow and the creature leapt high into the air, bright sunlight gleaming off of his blood-stained white coat. It transformed in mid air and landed on two feet, garbed in his usual combat boots, combat pants, greatcoat, and hat with a totenkopf symbol on it. Rip laughed gleefully as blood dripped down his body and he slipped his white gloves on.

"Not much for vords, are you?" Rip joked. Hans simply gave her a sideways glance and walked to the rooftop door. Rip quickly shifted to be in his way and he stopped, boots squeaking as more blood hit the roof. Rip bit her lip in an attempt to keep down her anxious squeals of delight from the scent of blood. Better yet, this blood was all over her favorite captain. Hans stared at her for a moment, as if trying to decide what to do with her for the moment. Rip grinned slyly.

"Vy don't you let me help you clean up Hans? I'm sure it's hard to get some of zose spots on your back," Rip commented, slinging her rifle over her shoulders. Hans didn't reply as he seemingly warped past her and headed for the door. Rip frowned and spun on her heel. She followed Hans down the stairwell and down into the third floor of the massive complex of the HQ. Hans was silent, but Rip could see his slight glances back at her. She was a vampire after all, and she could easily bite him at any moment from back here.

Eventually, after a dozen or so strange looks, Hans opened the door to his room and entered. Rip slipped into his room behind him, and immediately she was surprised by what she found. He had a bed, a bathroom, a small closet for his clothes…and a massive collection of pictures pinned to the wall next to his bed. She walked over to the wall and examined some of the photos. Many of them were in black and white and had corpses all around Hans and a few other soldiers. Those were from World War II Rip guessed as she moved farther down the wall. Most of the rest of them were of Millennium soldiers and officers. Rip found a picture of herself at the shooting range, blood splattered on her face as a dead animal lay on the ground at her feet.

"Hans…you ver zer hen zey banned live target practice?" She turned around and her face flushed bright red as she found Hans standing in from of a mirror in only his boxers, wiping blood off of his body with a towel. Come to think of it, Rip had never actually seen him beneath that big greatcoat of his. All she could do was stare at him…wanting more than ever to see what he felt like, if he was even a living thing at all. He never once spoke…so he could be a cyborg like the major perhaps?

Hans looked over to her and arched an eyebrow, snapping his bloody fingers. Rip suddenly found herself coming out of a daze staring at Hans. The man stood there for a moment and stared back at her. Then Rip noticed it, that tiny change in his gaze from emotionless to something much different. He stepped forward, tracking a line across his neck with his finger, blood dripping from the wound that closed soon after. Rip's eyes went wide and her stomach growled. That was the freshest blood she'd seen in a long time. Hans stepped close enough for her to smell the blood on him and dropped the towel to the floor. Rip's hands stretched forward almost hypnotically and wiped blood away from his neck.

She stuck her finger in her mouth and her eyes went wide with wonder. His blood tasted to good! She glanced up at his face for a moment and saw that his gaze was even more different than normal now. Rip saw a great amount of lust in his eyes and she grinned, throwing her gun aside as she cupped his face in her hands.

"Vould you like to make me yours?" she asked huskily. Hans wrapped his strong arms around her and his eyes turned slightly lupine and yellow. He actually grinned.

"You ver mine from ze first time you shot me through ze heart," he replied. Rip closed the gap between them and pressed her lips against his. She smirked. If kissing him made him say that…then she'd get him to scream by the time they were through. Hans' hands moved to her waist and he began to unbutton her pants.

Hans didn't understand _exactly_ what had happened up until now, but he knew that Rip was ready for him to mark her forever. The werewolf managed to unbutton her pants with relative ease and they pooled at her feet. She kicked off her shoes and immediately stepped out of her pants as Hans moved to unbutton her coat. Rip's hands seemed to not know where to be placed and the werewolf shifted his hips forward. Her hands immediately latched onto the waistband of his boxers and she grinned, his blood in her teeth.

Hans had always like Rip over everyone else her in Millennium, mostly because she cared more for the drawing of blood and hunting prey rather than just ripping things apart in a mindless slaughter. He had always been a fan of live target practice…up until they had almost hunted the Brazilian Boar into extinction and the Major and Dok had both decided to disband the corps for the gathering of live targets. Hans thrust his tongue into Rip's mouth and she let out a moan that sent chills down Hans' spine. Even though he was ninety four years old, he had only had sex three times.

And by the way Rip was reacting, he doubted that she's even had her first kiss.

"Do you care about zis uniform Rip?" Hans asked quietly. Rip shook her head as Hans pulled away from their kiss. Rip whimpered for a moment before Hans took her black coat and tore it in half, revealing her button-up undershirt was all she had left besides a lacy black bra. She flushed bright red.

"You don't haff to look at me like zat Hans…" she murmured, pulling her gaze away from his. The werewolf furrowed his brow and slowly unbuttoned her shirt, savoring every little movement she made under his scrutinizing gaze. Personally, Hans could find very little fault in her form as he undid the last button and threw the white shirt aside. He could already feel that telltale sensation in his body that he was getting aroused. And this feeling, Rip literally _felt_ it too. She gasped as her eyes turned down to his _growing_ need for her.

"Und zis next part is goingk to be good," Hans muttered to her as he wrapped one arm behind her and knelt down. He set her down gently on the floor and Rip's face turned entirely red. Hans realized now why she was blushing as she glanced at the bed. He pulled her panties down to her knees and took a glance at the bed as well. Only a few feet away, Hans thought for a moment. _Fuck zat…it vould take too long. Und it's too fuckingk far avay,_ Hans briefly thought, and continued with what he was doing at the moment.

Hans spread Rip's smooth legs and ran his hands up her porcelain thighs. For a vampire…she looked so fragile and easy to hurt. But he knew better than to make that assumption. He'd seen her take several hard hits and still manage to blow the life out of her attacker with magic bullets. He was impressed with her resiliency, and before long, she would definitely need it.

The werewolf's fingers reached Rip's wet womanhood and he traced the entire length of her sex. She let out a throaty moan and her back arched against his hand. Hans slowly pressed two of his fingers into her body and she squealed with delight, her hands gripping her jet-black hair that was spread out all over the floor. Hans could smell her scent from here and it made his mouth water. It was sweet, but he didn't think it was overpowering like other things. He wanted just one taste if she would let him, so he pulled himself up to her.

"Hans…I…please faster," Rip breathed as the werewolf began to speed up the pace of his fingers within her body. Damn, she was getting warmer by the second and her breathing was already heavier than a marathon runner's! Hans descended upon her and withdrew his fingers from her core, sucking off the juices that she had produced for him.

"Mmmmmm, schmackhaft," Hans said. He dipped his tongue tentatively into her and Rip's back arched as far at it would let her. Hans suddenly found himself smothered in what seemed like a dream as he delved his tongue deeper into her body. His hands moved to her artfully-curved backside and pulled her hips to him, allowing him to hit more of her pleasure points. Rip's hands in turn, moved to the back of the werewolf's head and forced it down. She let out moan after moan as Hans traced every single part of her womanhood, eagerly tasting and prodding her as he went.

Eventually, Hans pulled himself away and as he was about to go further, the door slammed open and three vampires rushed in with Dok and Zorin in front. The butch she-vamp looked dumbfounded and her scythe slid down her shoulder, coming dangerously close to loping off a lesser-ranking officer's head. Dok's eyes were as wide as dinner plates, even without the magnification specs he had on.

"Fuck, get a room," Zorin said as she scoffed. Rip immediately grabbed her rifle with one hand and fired. The bullet tore Zorin's left thigh to pieces and the vampire staggered backwards, this time successfully loping off the officer's head. Hans reached for his Mauser C96, but Dok was already closing the door.

"Zorin, they already had a room you idiot. I told you that nobody was trying to kill Rip in here. Hell, it's Hans' room, he'd be killing them instead for invasion of privacy!" Dok said as he used his skeleton key to lock the door. All was silent, save for the crackling of Rip's gun as the last of the black powder burned out in her smoking weapon. Hans let out an annoyed sigh.

"Vell Hans, at least ve're alone again," she said cheerfully. Hans licked his teeth and breathed heavily for a few moments. He moved up to Rip's body and grabbed her bra, ripping it off of her body in one fluid motion. The vampire immediately covered her breasts with her arms and Hans arched an eyebrow. Rip shook her head in embarrassment.

"You don't haff to be afraid Rip. It's only me," Hans comforted softly. Rip, however reluctantly, uncovered her chest and revealed to Hans what he had been waiting for since he'd thrown her shirt aside. He gently wrapped his arm around her back and put the other under her thigh. Rip gasped in surprise as she found herself pinned to the wall with a horny werewolf in front of her, staring hungrily at her chest. Hans took the momentary lull in moans and pleasure to begin probing at her breasts.

And he found that pinching her nipples made her throw her head back _scream_ his name. So Hans twisted and pulled on her nipples gently, wishing that he could taste and probe with his tongue. And after looking at the woman with her tongue lolling out and eyes glazed over, he decided that she wouldn't care all that much. Hans leaned in and licked one of her nipples. Rip squeezed her eyes shut and wrapped her legs around Hans' waist tightly.

The werewolf almost lost it as his hips collided with Rips and the only thing separating them was a pair of boxers. He let out a groan as he throbbed painfully. Still, he licked Rip's chest again, savoring the taste of her body with his sensitive tongue. He was very pleased when her moans grew louder and louder and her hips began to grind against his regularly. He let out a low growl that Rip laughed at as he latched onto her left breast, almost feeling her heartbeat so close to him. He swirled his tongue around her nipple, biting down lightly at random intervals.

"Not so hard Hans…I can still break you know," Rip breathed as he began to keep her other breast company with his off hand. His right hand was already busy with her womanhood, pushing his fingers in and out of her at a faster pace than he had planned. But this was the heat of the moment, and he could barely control himself as it was. He could tell that Rip was enjoying herself because of her wetness and swelled breasts. He found that the both of them were already beginning to sweat.

The werewolf removed himself from her breast and reached for the waistband of his boxers. Rip grabbed his hand and shook her head as she put it back up on her breast. Instead, _she_ grabbed the waistband of his boxers and pulled them down to reveal his throbbing need for her. She gasped and Hans looked down to see if there was anything wrong. Rip simply stared down at him and a sheepish grin made itself comfortable on her lips.

"To be perfectly honest…I didn't expect it to be zo big," she admitted guiltily. Hans simply let his boxers fall to the floor and slid them across his bedroom floor. He pushed her more roughly against the wall and grinned widely. Rip put her arms between them before he could move on.

"Wait!" she cried, pushing the werewolf back from her. Hans was a bit confused, but agreed silently. He stepped back and Rip dropped to the floor, turning him back so that he was against the wall. The vampire knelt down in front of him and pressed down on the tip of his erection. She grinned as his eyes glazed over. Hans hadn't felt this is almost sixty years! God this was such a blessing to have Rip Van Winkle kneeling before him in a locked room. She tentatively flicked her tongue out and licked him from base to head. Hans gripped the wall so tightly that his fingers bit into the steel and ripped it up like it was aluminum foil.

Rip slowly leaned her head forward and slowly, Hans could feel her wet tongue sliding over the head of his erection. He clenched his teeth and Rip slid forward, going down to the base and then back up. Unfortunately however, she coughed violently and wiped her mouth.

"Okay, zat vas too much. I can't do zat again Hans, but ve can move past zis und get on vit somezingk better," she said with a sly grin in her face. Hans had absolutely no objections to that and lifted Rip into his arms, feeling her hot body against his. He was burning up almost as badly as she was at the moment and his body temperature was only rising as he flipped their positions and pinned her to the wall. He positioned his hips and looked up at Rip for confirmation. He knew that this was going to hurt her…a lot.

Rip nodded slowly and put her head on Hans' shoulder, her legs and arms wrapped lightly around him. Hans slammed his hips into Rip's and she cried out in such pain that it sent chills through Hans' entire body. He stood there, body pressed to Rip's, waiting for her to adjust and get comfortable so that they could continue. He watched as Rip's mouth opened and she moved to clamp her jaws shut on his shoulder. Hans stuck two fingers into her mouth and she bit down on them, hard. Hans leaned in close and nibbled on her earlobe, whispering softly.

"Und as of now, you are mine Rip Van Winkle. I suggest zat you get ready before ve begin. Vit ze two of us, zis could take a vhile," he said. Rip released his fingers and stared at him for a while before she shifted her hips against his.

"Und who do you thing zat I am? Of course zis is goingk to take a vhile!" she retorted as Hans pulled away and then pressed his length back into Rip's core. She cried out in pain and pleasure, gripping his back tightly with her pale hands. Hans pulled back and pushed into her again and again, almost growling as pleasure shot through his body and adrenaline flowed through his veins. Rip was none to different as her eyes began to glow red and her fangs elongated to stick out of her mouth.

Hans leaned in and tilted his head to the side, his lips crashing into the vampire's own. His tongue made its way into her mouth and was greeted by her own, slightly serpentine one. He was glad to see that she still had a bit of fight left in her as her tongue pushed back against his. She bit down with her sharp teeth and Hans let out a deep, throaty moan in pleasure. _God, pain und pleasure go togezer so vell!_ Hans grinned at the thought.

The werewolf noticed that the rhythm of his hips against hers was getting faster with every thrust and that his body was still heating at a remarkable rate. He was now grabbing Rip's perky breasts and massaging them, whispering to the vampire how he planned the rest of the day and the entire night together with her. And her eyes lit up as he spoke, hips colliding with more and more force as he spoke. He was becoming more aroused by the very second as he spoke, his mind conjuring ideas out of thin air, things that he had never seen before. And he had read the Kama Sutra a few times.

But before Hans could get to the point of a climax, or get Rip to hers for that matter, someone warped into the room and gasped. Hans slowly turned his head around and gave it a last thrust of his hips before he actually paid any attention to the intruder. He growled very deeply as he saw Schrodinger before him, a map of Egypt in the boy's hands. Hans reached toward him, but Rip put his hand back on her thigh and her gun levitated to her hand and she aimed it at the cat-boy's head.

"Kapitan."

_Bang!_

"I."

_Bang!_

"Need."

_Bang!_

"You."

_Bang!_

"To."

_Bang!_

"Go."

_Bang!_

"Vit."

_Bang!_

"Me."

_Bang!_

"To."

_Bang!_

"Egypt."

_Bang!_

"Or."

_Bang!_

"Ze."

_Bang!_

"Major."

_Bang!_

"Von't."

_Bang!_

"Let."

_Bang!_

"Me."

_Bang!_

"Go."

_Bang!_

"So-"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BECAUSE I'M OUT OF BULLETS YOU ANNOYING LITTLE FUCKER!" Rip roared to the cat-boy at the top of her lungs. Schrodinger's ears flattened and he teleported away with a hurt look on his face. Rip turned Hans' head back to her with her hands and put her forehead to his. Her tongue flicked out and touched the tip of his nose.

Hans pushed their hips together and created a soft rhythm once again, trying to regain his dominance over the vampire, the dominance that he'd held not a minute ago. But it was to no avail as Rip nuzzled him and her breasts rubbed up against his sweaty body. He moaned with pleasure and the vampire bucked her hips against his with only a few words to say.

"Hans, I'm getting hot."

"Zen let's cool off vit a shover?" the werewolf suggested. Rip immediately pointed to the bathroom and Hans, rip still in his grasp, made his way over to the door and kicked it down. He put _his_ vampire up against the wall and teased her breast with his tongue as his left hand moved to turn the knob for the shower. He flipped it up and to the right as quickly as he could. When he was done, he repositioned his hands on Rip's thighs and began again. But when it was warm water that came out of the shower head, Hans growled menacingly and let Rip's feet touch the floor for a moment.

The werewolf pulled out of Rip's body and turned around, spinning the knob as far to the right as it could go. Immediately, he spun around on his heel and plunged back into his vampiric partner with renewed fervor and lust. Rip didn't lift her legs around his waist this time, and simply let herself be slammed into the wall without much fight. Hans was almost about to stop, but then Rip did something that sent him over the edge and into his very own paradise. She raked her fingernails down his back, ripping and tearing the iron-hard skin. Not only that, but she squeezed her legs as tightly as she could, forcing pressure on Hans' rigid appendage and shooting more pain and pleasure through his body. Hans howled with delight.

"Zis von knows how to do it right!" Hans yelled to no one in particular as he pushed deeper into her body. Rip felt like she was going to explode in a whirlwind of ecstasy as he kissed her forcefully, slammed their hips together, and groped her breasts with his big, strong hands. She could barley keep in her screaming desire for him, and every cell in her body roared for more. Rip felt a cold chill run down her spine.

Although hans felt the same chill, it wasn't from the near-freezing water splashing all over them, it was because Jan Valentine had opened the bathroom door and was staring wide-eyed at the scene before him.

"What the fuck's going on here?!" he yelled. Hans had had enough of these damned interruptions today. He kicked the younger Valentine out of the bathroom and the vampire soared through the next wall, hitting the hallway with a loud, resounding _thud_. Hans turned his attention back to Rip and she grinned lustfully. Both of them moved faster this time as their minds reconnected and their hips clashed together like waves upon a rocky shore. Both of them were kissing and biting each others' tongues in a heated and passionate kiss. Dok and a few vampires were busy dragging an unconscious Jan Valentine away and closing the ruined steel wall Hans had sent the vampire through.

Hans neither cared nor paid any attention at all to these insignificant details. Right now, he was pounding Rip into the wall with such force that the steel wall and support beam behind it warped and bent as Rip's body was smashed into them. It had absolutely no effect on the vampire as she eagerly used the force of her own body to push Hans away and pull him back for more with her hands. The werewolf already had his hands situated on her aforementioned curvy backside and pulled her to him as quickly as he could.

Hans was surprised at her extreme endurance, having not come already in this situation. Of course, Hans hadn't come either, but he was beginning to get that feeling of his climax approaching. One look at Rip told him that she was having the same feeling, as she was arching her back to him now more than ever. Hans felt that wrenching feeling in his stomach move to his abdomen and then to his throbbing erection. He gave it a final thrust that almost snapped the support beam Rip was being pounded against and then released his climax violently.

"I'm coming!" Rip yelled as she squeezed hers and Hans' bodies together as tightly as she could and rode out her own orgasm as Hans climaxed with her. After a few moments in their complete daze of lust and passion, the werewolf and vampire opened their eyes and stared at each other. Hans breathed heavily and welcomed the soothing cold water running down his back and chest. But not even that could draw his entire being from Rip's voluptuous body, her freckled cheeks tinted pink at the moment.

"Zat…zat vas good, ja?" Rip asked after a hesitant moment. Hans simply nodded and planted a soft kiss on her lips as he raised her legs and she wrapped them instinctively around his waist. Hans was still iron-hard and wanting, and he was still ready to go through the day and into the night with Rip in his hands. The vampire grinned as he pinned her to the floor this time.

"Zer gut," hans replied as he forced his way into her body again. Rip nuzzled him and raked her nails across his back.

"Zen I hope you think zis time is even better." Rip kissed Hans again and bucked her hips against his. Oh yes, this was going to last far into the night.

* * *

One afternoon, and night, and another half-a-day later, Major Montana Max had been subject to just about enough of this constant moaning and screaming throughout his _entire_ headquarters. Not only that, but it didn't seem like there were any signs of this stuff stopping anywhere in the near future. He hadn't slept at all last night and had retired to his main "throne room" to contemplate how to deal with this situation properly. He had decided to confront Hans and Rip personally and get them to stop that way.

So, the short, plump (certainly not fat!) Major Montana Max strolled down the hallway in full uniform and a gun in its holster on his belt. Most of them time, he didn't wear full uniform, but this was very important that he show his subordinates who was the boss around here. He rounded the corner and found Dok sitting outside a gaping hole in the wall with an injured Zorin, Jan, Luke, five Nazi vampires, sixteen of the medical staff, and a crying Schrodinger. He furrowed his brow and Dok turned to him, a confused look on his face.

"Vhat ist goingk on here?" the Major asked Dok. His medical genius gave a small whimper and a defeated shrug.

"I can't get zem to stop. I sent Zorin, Luke, and Jan in after ze regulars didn't vork…but zey won't stop! I don't know vat else to do! I already got ze captain vit six tranquilizer rounds and ze first lieutenant vit some sleeping gas…but nothing vorks! They just von't stop!" the man cried, lifting up his glasses and wiping growing tears from his bloodshot eyes. Almost as if on command…the moaning and hammering noises…everything, came to an echoing stop and there was finally a lull in the Millennium Headquarters. The Major took this chance to peer into the room, an he found what looked like a warzone within the room.

Every wall, save one that was lined with hundreds of photos, had deep dents and holes and rips in its steel surface. The door to the bathroom was kicked in and the bathroom itself…it was ruined beyond repair. The floor was a mangled mess of deep indentions and broken bits of metal. The Major saw two figures on the floor before him, one with jet-black hair clinging to her all the way down to her thighs, the other with blonde hair matted with blood and sweat. They were both sucking in air with every breath.

Major Montana Max, for the first time in many years, laughed and howled with delight as he took in the whole situation. It was like a warzone in here, and this was just because of these two in a spur-of-the-moment kind of thing. Wonderful! Suddenly, Hans was in front of him with Rip in his arms, a Greatcoat draped over her naked form. Jan growled a question.

"Where the hell're you two goin'?" Rip gave him the finger.

"Ze Captain's bath is broken. Ve're using yours Jan," she replied with a manic tone of laughter settling behind her words. Not long after, running water pumped somewhere in the HQ and sounds of Rip against a wall were coming up again. Everyone groaned, save the Major that is. His mind clicked and the cogs and wheels turned to allow the formation of a devious plan. He turned to Dok with a malicious grin on his face, one that Dok had come to know very well in the past few decades.

"Dok?"

"Ja, Herr Major?" he replied reluctantly. Montana Max grinned.

"Find me ze most powerful aphrodisiac you can find, and renovate zis base for ze next veek." The Major turned on his heel and began to walk away.

"Vhat for?!" the medical genius cried.

"Zose two can make a war out of love. Und I vant a _big_ war!" the ranking officer replied as he whistled down the hallway. _War out of love, who'd have thunk it?_ The Major thought quietly to himself. Of course, the answer was simply obvious. And so, the Major had no more need to confront the two about their personal "war" because he had much more pressing business as he hurried to his planning room to map out the area in which this war was to take place. Such a wondrous and mysterious thing passion was. Now if only he could get the Captain to fight with as much fervor as he was currently fighting Rip with, then he'd have a warrior to truly slay Alucard with!


End file.
